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How did it happen?

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So the news was everywhere....and it was really kinda scary! But well, that's life of a blogger!

Some are wondering who the father of the child is and some assume it's my ex bf's. Some assume i don't even know who the father is. WHAAAT?! LOL. Well, i broke up with my ex of 3 years and I got together with another guy shortly after. I must say, i'm not the most perfect girl around and i'm not a good example to follow. I found out i was pregnant around 20+ January 2014 and the child is my current bf's because well i can confirm that it is his - 100% sure. I really don't sleep around with random people even though there are rumors around that i do. Oh man the rumors out there about me are CRAZY. How the hell do people come up with such crazy "facts" about me?! Haha. So anyway, yeah a "little accident" happened. I don't know how exactly it happened though. I would've taken the morning after pill if i knew something wasn't right but this time i REALLY don't remember when it actually happened. I honestly did not expect this to happen to me. Can you imagine what was going through my mind when i found out? How confused i felt? Just months ago i was with a guy for 3 years i thought we were going to get married but then we broke up and then a few months later i'm carrying another guy's child....whaaaaaat?! I've heard so many stories on "unplanned pregnancies" and i always wondered how it happened. I always think i "can't be that suay (unlucky). Oh man, it really took me by surprise. I know people will question my actions and all but well i don't really have to explain my actions to anyone ok.....? Yes, unprotected sex is WRONG.

Some people are making the weirdest assumptions like "Your bf is married so you chose to keep his indentity private" or "Your boyfriend is an old man so you are EMBARASSED". Lol. SERIOUSLY GUYS?! What's wrong with keeping his identity private? He doesn't want me to post pictures or talk about him and all and I respect that. Even my ex boyfriend whom i posted a lot of picture of didn't like it and he hated the attention! How will I benefit from sharing who he is anyway?! I'm totally fine not sharing who he is since he doesn't want me to. Not everyone wants to be known and recognized by strangers in public. It could affect his work and all too. If I could, I would but I can't and won't.

Anyway, despite it all...imma stay positive and keep going! I am actually really lucky my boyfriend has been an absolute sweetheart so far. I'm really lucky to at least have him by my side and have his support. I will make the best out of this! This is a BLESSING! It's a LIFE.

I know i have a lot of young girls as readers and i should be setting a good example. But if i do that, then am i just pretending to be someone else? I'm just gonna put on a show and be someone else just so people will like me...just so i would be accepted in the society and loved by many. Well the thing s, I have always been pretty open about my life and i'm really not afraid of being Me. I'm living MY life and doing things MY way and sharing it on this space.

This is like my diary open to the public. It's a space i share my views and happenings in my life and it isn't always gonna be "perfect" and "correct"?? I've my good and my bad. Which keeps it real....and that is probably why people enjoy following this space. They are entertained. BUT being entertained does NOT mean they have to follow my way of life. It's like say if i enjoy watching Snookie on "Jersey Shore", does it mean i have to do what she does? No what? I like watching it cus she's crazy and it's entertaining but really really i don't want to be her! Do you get what i'm trying to say? I'm not exactly goody two shoes kinda girl as you can see. School drop out, heavily inked, party animal....yeah, someone no parent wants you to "idolize" or "envy". I know i'd rather have a daughter who studies hard, gets a degree, gets a proper job in say the banking industry or something. I actually envy the people with such lives! I grew up in a broken family, i hated to study and was always skipping school, i started partying at a really young age, i got inked at 17.....Definitely not your typical "guai" girl. But despite all that i won't say i'm a rebel and a good for nothing because i have built Ohsofickle up and thanks to it i am able to stop taking allowance from my mom since 16. I now lead a comfortable life and can always buy nice things.....all using my hard earned money! I am also able to contribute to the family and make life more comfortable for my family. Now that's one thing i'm proud of and i always am very thankful i made it in this industry.

When i started blogging, i just wanted a space to share my life and a space i can look back at in years to come. It has never been my intention to blog to be a role model and teach people the right way of life or set a good example to the kids out there. I do try to post stuff which help with self-improvement and things that can help improve your character and outlook in life but that still doesn't make me the right role model to follow.

Also, I'm not saying it is fine to have unprotected premarital sex and then get yourself pregnant. NO PLEASE DON'T. GIRLS, PLEASE BE CAREFUL! Use contraceptions or take the morning after pill. Be super careful so this accident won't happen to you. I sounded so happy and positive in the previous post, but you must know i did have days i just broke down and went "WHY MUST IT HAPPEN TO ME?!".  However sometimes, fucked up things STILL happen and then what do you do? How do you deal with it and handle it? That is when you know you ain't alone. There's someone out there who knows how you feel and she is open about sharing it to the world. Despite her status online and what she knows the public will say, she chose to tell the truth and made it good news! I have received about 100 emails regarding this. From single mommies, and even some who are currently in the same situation as me. It really does help knowing that there are a lot of people out there who understand and can help me get me prepared for whats ahead!

I know my strong points too! I may not be the best example to follow but i do give some pretty good advices because i've been through a lot. Actually, I'm not exactly a BAD-BAD girl lah.

Bringing a life into this world is not easy but I know I can do this! Keeping the child and taking on this responsibility is a choice I made. I want this baby. I'm not forced to keep him/her but I WANT TO.  I will love him/her and give up whatever I have to give up for him/her. There's nothing more important than giving this child of mine the best life I can give. I'm really very excited and happy because i love kids and i'm gonna have my own child in around 6 months time?!?! Feels so surreal....




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